Echoes...Silence...Patience... and Grace

"Haley : So, how was today? Peyton : Just like every day. Haley : Well, there's always tomorrow."

"Dan : It's said that the saddest thing a man will ever face is what might have been... but what if the man who's faced with what was... or what may never be... or what can no longer be... choosing the right path is never easy, it's a decision we make with only our hearts to guide us... but sometimes we find our way to something better... sometimes we fight through the regret and remorse of our mistakes, our malice and our jealousy, and the shame we feel for not being the people we were meant to be... and that's when we find our way to something better... or when something better finds its way to us."

"Peyton: I come in here and I sit in silence and hear the echoes of who we used to be, and so I wish for patience, and grace, and the strength to just let him be happy. Mostly, I pray for the strength to not make his life worse because of what I want. That's the toughest part, letting go, you know? That's the part of grace that just really sucks."

I’m scared to like anyone. Because I end up getting attached. Knowing that you may be here now but one day you’ll be gone. Just that single thought scares me along with tons of “what if’s”. It’s as if I could go to sleep knowing you’re mine and wake up knowing I probably won’t hear from you ever again. I just don’t want to get so close and then end up being broken.

Começa a aproximar-se o fim do ano (hoje fui lembrada que é já daqui a dois dias), e começam inevitavelmente as reflexões. A minha primeira pergunta, que me tem passado muito pela cabeça de há uns tempos para cá, é: para onde é que foi este ano? É que passou mesmo, mesmo rápido. Diz-se que o tempo passa a voar. Bem, acredito. Ainda noutro dia estava a começar 2011, comigo sem saber bem o que fazer à minha vida... E agora... Bem, agora. Foi um ano importante, como todos. Com momentos bons e momentos menos bons, como todos. Este ano as coisas mudaram bastante. É engraçado como andamos por aí a queixar-nos, tantas vezes, de que nada acontece (falo por mim, pelo menos), e depois passam 365 dias, olhamos para trás e... Percebemos como as coisas mudaram, como as coisas aconteceram. Este ano, trabalhei num projecto de investigação, comecei outro, procurei emprego, comecei a fazer voluntariado, decidi fazer o Doutoramento, candidatei-me, consegui a bolsa, comecei o Doutoramento (só desde que c...

"Lucas: Lindsay, please, you can't just leave. Lindsay: People always leave Luke, you know that."

"Elena: I won't love a ghost for the rest of my life." - Vampire Diaries

"Mouth: There was a high school basketball game tonight somewhere in America. A team won and a team lost. That's not the real story. The real story is about fathers and sons. It's about life and time and change. Girls and boys went to the game. They dressed and hoped to fit in. Some did. Some didn't. It's a story that has history and chapters yet to be written. There was a high school basketball game tonight somewhere in America. Reporters will report. They'll tell you who the high scorer was and what the keys to the game were. But that's not the real story. As a matter of fact, that's not the story at all."

There was a girl I used to know but I haven’t seen her in awhile. She was beautiful, smart, confident, free spirited. She could turn an uneasy silence into a conversation. She could make you smile just like that, and she could even make you cry just like that. She felt like she could change the world, paint it different colors. She could conquer anything. She believed in fairy tale’s, dreams, and love.

Tu não ficaste zangado nem triste. Eu fiquei. Passou-te pela cabeça que eu pudesse ficar magoada? Acho que há coisas que nunca mudam, assim como eu nunca vou ser capaz de disfarçar quando estou triste ou desiludida. Não queria, mas estou. E agora?

"Peyton : Hey… think maybe Whitey will let you out of practice early so we can catch a movie? Lucas : What are you doing Peyton? Peyton : Just pretending for a second that we're still seventeen and nothing's changed. Would you believe I actually met a girl that lives vicariously through us? At least us in the book. Lucas : Sure I do. It was a great story to be a part of but it also took place a long time ago. Peyton : I know. I didn't come here to rehash the past. I was reminded today in a roundabout way that the most perfect act of love is sacrifice. It's what Keith did for Karen; burying his feelings for her for all those years so he could be a good friend. I love you Lucas. And I think I have since the first moment we locked eyes and it is going to suck but if what you want is for me to let go then I'm gonna do it. Be happy Luke. I want that with all my heart."

Há uns dias perguntaram-me o que é o Natal, para mim. Não sei muito bem responder a essa pergunta, faz parte daquelas "mesmo difíceis". Entretanto tenho estado a pensar, como o dia de Natal é já dentro de dois dias. Acho que cheguei a uma conclusão, daquelas que pouco concluem. Mas, ainda assim... Natal é tempo de reflectir. Em quem somos, quem fomos e quem queremos ser. De perdoar. Aos outros, a nós mesmos. De tolerar. As coisas grandes e as pequenas. De dar. E não estou a falar das prendas que compramos, isso é o menos. Não tenho nada contra oferecer prendas, mas às vezes há coisas que podíamos dar, que significaria mais para alguém, e que não se pode comprar. Acho que é mais fácil comprar alguma coisa do que a outra opção. Portanto, Natal é tempo de muita coisa. Falo por mim, mas a cada Natal que passa, acho sempre que não cheguei lá. Que falta qualquer coisa. Não é o espírito, esse está cá. Mas entre pensar ou dizer e fazer... É o fazer que realmente tem valor, a concret...

The good times and the bad times both will pass. It will pass. It will get easier. But the fact that it will get easier does not mean that it doesn’t hurt now. And when people try to minimize your pain they are doing you a disservice. And when you try to minimize your own pain you’re doing yourself a disservice. Don’t do that. The truth is that it hurts because it’s real. It hurts because it mattered. And that’s an important thing to acknowledge to yourself. But that doesn’t mean that it won’t end, that it won’t get better. Because it will. - John Green

O trabalho a avançar, é sempre bom. Têm sido dias bastante ocupados, o que também é bom. E tem estado um sol lindo, o que torna tudo melhor ainda. E depois, há sempre espaço para surpresas...

Um tempo horroroso. Um dia quase perfeito. Teve de tudo, incluindo mais trabalho do que ontem. Daqueles dias, raros actualmente, em que eu chego ao final e sinto que realmente fiz mais, cheguei um bocadinho mais perto... Sabem que mais? Acho que complicamos demasiado o que pode ser simples. Acho que recebemos o que damos. Acho que pedir ajuda pode ser difícil, mas às vezes é o melhor que podemos fazer. Acho que a família e os amigos continuam a ser das melhores coisas que podemos ter. Se temos a felicidade de os ter, então não podemos estar assim tão mal. Pelo menos não estamos sozinhos. Acho que a chuva até nem é assim tão má. Acho que um sorriso ou uma palavra simpática ainda são grátis, com ou sem Crise. Acho que nada se consegue sem esforço, e estou disposta a tentar... Acho que o que dermos ao Mundo, ele retribui, mais cedo ou mais tarde. E acho que o Natal continua a ser a época mais bonita do ano...

"Haley: The rest of your life is a long time and whether you know it or not it's being shaped right now. You can choose to blame your circumstances on fate or bad luck or bad choices or you can fight back. Things aren't always going to be fair in the real world, that's just the way it is but for the most part you get what you give. Let me ask you all a question. What's worse than not getting everything you wished for or getting it but finding out it's not enough? The rest of your life is being shaped right now with the dreams you chase, the choices you make and the person you decide to be. The rest of your life is a long time and the rest of your life starts right now."

"Peyton: Hi, it's Peyton. Yeah, I'm sorry. I know it's late there, I just... what happened to us? You know? I don't know who I am anymore. Or how I got here. I miss who I used to be. I wanna have a home again, ya know? And real friends. You know, the kind of friendships we used to believe in. I miss that. And I miss you. I guess I just miss all of it. Does any of that make any sense? Brooke: Yeah, it makes all the sense in the world, Peyton. Four years ago, it all seemed so clear, didn't it? Conquer the world, save the world, live happily ever after. Peyton: Are you happy, Brooke? Brooke: Sometimes. Not always. Are you? Peyton: No. Brooke: Okay, then let me ask you something. What is gonna make you happy, Peyton? Is it how you look? Or the car you drive or the people you know? Is it money or celebrity or power or accomplishments? Because I have all those things and I don't think it's enough. Peyton: Well then, what is? Brooke: Love, I t...

"Mouth : Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to another historic night."

"Haley : There is a tide in the affairs of men, which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune. Omitted, all the voyages of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat, and we must take the current when it serves, or lose our ventures. I think what that quote means is that life is short and opportunities are rare. And we have to be vigilant in protecting them and not only the opportunities to succeed but the opportunity to laugh , to see the enchantment and to live. Because life doesn't owe us anything, In fact I think we owe something to the world. And if we can just believe... I have more, but i think I'm having my baby..."

Portanto, retrospectivando... Um dia estranho. Acordar com dor de cabeça e de costas. Ir ao ginásio, ainda assim. Passar a tarde a fingir que se trabalha (ok, até trabalhei um bocadinho). Estive longe de fazer tudo o que queria, nem de perto nem de longe. Mas também, são supostamente férias, é suposto descansar-se um bocado... certo?? Amanhã é preciso fazer muito mais mas, para primeiro dia, até nem está mal... Vamos avançar.

"Nathan: Do you have a wife, Principal Turner? Principal Turner: Yes, I do. Nathan: Is she the best part of you? Would you want for her to pay for your mistakes? We all make mistakes. And believe me, I'm paying for mine, but Haley's a good person. And she's worked for four years to be valedictorian, and she deserves to be recognized."

Life changes. You get it all lined up just the way you like it and then something beyond your control comes along and bumps you off center. Nothing stays the same. You grow up, make friends, lose friends, lose track of people, meet new ones and sometimes you ask yourself why. But all I can tell you is that every single experience you go through changed you in some way. Every new person who comes into your life changes you. Every moral dilemma or emotional experience you come up against changes you. It’s your job to decide how.

"Lucas: If you could go back and change just one thing about your life, would you? And if you did, would that change make your life better? Or would that change ultimately break your heart? Or break the heart of another? Would you choose an entirely different path? Or would you change just one thing? Just one moment? One moment that you always wanted back?"

"Lucas: You ever wonder how long it takes to change your life? What measure of time is enough to be life-altering? Is it four years, like high school? One year? An eight-week rock tour? Can your life change in a month, a week, or a single day? We're always in a hurry to grow up, to go places, to get ahead. But when you're young, one hour can change everything."

"Lucas: Happiness comes in many forms. In the company of good friends, in the feeling you get when you make someone else's dreams come true, or in a promise of hope renewed. It's OK to let yourself be happy, because you never know how fleeting that happiness might be."

"Lucas: Have you ever wondered what marks our time here? If one life can really make an impact on the world? Or if the choices we make matter? I believe they do. And I believe that one man can change many lives... for better or worse"

Resultado: pensar, pensamos. Temos ideias. Mas não fazemos nada. De quem é a culpa?

Porque não és apenas uma pessoa que amei em tempos. Eras a minha melhor amiga, trazias ao de cima o melhor que havia em mim e não consigo imaginar desistir disso outra vez. - Hesitou, procurando as palavras certas. - Podes não perceber, mas dei-te o melhor de mim, e nunca mais nada voltou a ser igual quando partiste. - Nicholas Sparks E é assim que se diz Tudo. E se tiver perdido o que te dei? E se nunca mais voltar a encontrar o melhor em mim?

"Radio Announcer : Time is running out, now. And I tell you, you've gotta feel for Nathan Scott. I mean, sure, he has made some mistakes, but you get the sense that if this is how it ends he's never going to forgive himself. And Lucas Scott is being swarmed! I wouldn't doubt it if they didn't carry the kid out of here tonight and never bring him back. I have never seen some of these kids so happy. And can you blame them? They've been waiting a long time for this moment. And there at the center of it all is Whitey Durham; standing alone, taking it all in. Ladies and gentlemen, the Tree Hill Ravens are champions at last, and there's not a dry eye in the house."

"Lucas: Regret comes in all shapes and sizes. Some are small, like when we do a bad thing for a good reason. Some are bigger like when we let down a friend. Some of us escape the pains of regret by making the right choice. Some of us have little time for regret because were looking forward to the future. Sometimes we have to fight to come to terms with the past, and sometimes we bury our regret by promising to change our ways. But our biggest regrets are not for the things we did but for the things we didn't do, things we didn't say that could have saved someone we care about. Especially when we can see the dark storm that's headed their way."

"Lucas : There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment, who will you be? Will you let down your defenses, and find solitude in someone unexpected. Will you reach out... Will you face your greatest fears bravely, and move forward with faith... or will you succumb to the darkness in your soul."

"Lucas : There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads. Afraid. Confused. Without a roadmap. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course, when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back. But once in a while people push on to something better. Something found just beyond the pain of going it alone. And just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in. Or to give someone a second chance. Something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream. Because it's only when you're tested, that you truly discover who you are. And it's only when you're tested, that you discover who you can be. The person you want to be does exist. Somewhere on the otherside of hard work and faith and belief ... and beyond the heartache and fear of what lies ahead."

"Lucas : My name is Lucas Scott. I'm a senior at Tree Hill High School. I play basketball -- at least I used to. I have a girlfriend -- at least I used to. And I have a best friend. Tree Hill is just a place somewhere in the world. Maybe it's a lot like your world, maybe it's nothing like it. But if you look closer, you might see someone like you. Someone trying to find their way. Someone trying to find their place. Someone trying to find their self. Sometimes it seems like you are the only one in the world who's struggling, who's frustrated, unsatisfied, barely getting by. But that feeling's a lie. And if you just hold on, just find the courage to face it all for another day, someone or something will find you and make it all okay. Because we all need a little help sometimes-someone to helps us hear the music in their world, to remind us that it won't always be this way. That someone is out there. And that someone will find you."

"Nathan: Stepping up. It's a simple concept. It basically means to rise above yourself; to do a little more, to show you're something special. Something like this....Lucas is gone but that doesn't mean the season is over. As a matter of fact, I say it's just beginning. You might want to stay out of my way for a while....Life's funny sometimes; it can push pretty hard, like when you fall in love with someone but they forget to love you back. Like when your best friend and your boyfriend leave you alone. Like when you pull the trigger or light the flame and you can't take it back. Like I said, in sports they call this 'stepping up'. In life, I call it pushing back."

"Lucas : Henry James wrote: "Be not afraid of life; believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact."

"Lucas: Does this darkness have a name? This cruelty, this hatred, how did it find us? Did it steal into our lives, or did we seek it out and embrace it? What happened to us? That we now send our children into the world like we send young men to war... Hoping for their safe return... But knowing that some will be lost along the way. When did we lose our way? Consumed by the shadows, swallowed whole by the darkness. Does this darkness have a name? Is it your name?"

You can feel the whole world and still feel lost in it. So many people are in pain — no matter how smart or accomplished — they cry, they yearn, they hurt. But instead of looking down on things, they look up, which is where I should have been looking, too. Because when the world quiets to the sound of your own breathing, we all want the same things: comfort, love and a peaceful heart. - Mitch Albom

Not feeling anything is an atractive option when what you feel sucks. - Once Upon a Time

"Whitey: It's been fifty years, fifty long years since I've done this. Looking back on what I said all those years ago, all the hopes and dreams I had, I've come to the conclusion that if having things turn out the way you wanted them to is the measure of a successful life, then some would say that I'm a failure. The important thing is not to be bitter over life's disappointments. Learn to let go of the past. And recognize that every day won't be sunny, and when you find yourself lost in the darkness and despair remember it's only in the black of night you see the stars. And those stars will lead you back home. So don't be afraid to make mistakes, or stumble and fall, cause most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you'll get everything you wish for. Maybe you'll get more than you ever could have imagined. Who knows where life will take you. The road is long and in the end, t...

A-C-A-B-O-U. Mais um. Feito. Sabem aqueles dias cinzentos (literal e metaforicamente), dos quais não esperamos muito? Hoje era um desses dias, depois de uma dessas semanas. Bem, a vida consegue mesmo surpreender-nos. Antes de mais, mais uma "prova" superada. Mais uma evidência de que sou capaz de suportar mais do que o que pensava. Se não aprender mais nada, pelo menos descubro que sou bem mais resiliente do que pensava. Acho que todos somos. Só falta o momento certo para nos apercebermos disso. Depois, acho que me esqueço muito facilmente de que as pessoas podem surpreender-nos, e de facto fazem-no, de vez em quando. Dizem o que não esperávamos, fazem o que não esperávamos, confiam quando não esperávamos... Acontece. Também me esqueço, ainda mais facilmente, de que eu também posso surpreender-me a mim mesma. Hoje agi por impulso. Hoje consegui contrariar as minhas reacções quase reflexas. E isso é importante, e raro de acontecer. Portanto, tendo tudo em conta, acho que foi u...

"Ellie: Don't be afraid Peyton. Every song has a coda, a final movement, whether it fades out or crashes away. Every song ends, is that any reason not to enjoy the music? Peyton: It doesn't mean I can't want it to not end. Ellie: Look at you. You've had more life changing events in the first 17 years of your life than I'd wish on anyone. You got the surviving part down. I want you to focus more on the living. Peyton: Sometimes surviving is about all the living I can handle. Ellie: I don't buy that for one second. And if you keep this up hiding in your art and your sadness, you're really gonna miss out. Because the truth is, there is nothing to be afraid of. It's just life."

The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. - Anna Quindlen

Podia queixar-me, mas não vou fazê-lo. Podia chorar, gritar, dizer que está tudo mal, que a vida não é justa, que estou cansada e farta disto, que nunca acontece nada... etc etc etc. Podia, mas seria um desperdício de tempo. Esta foi uma semana menos feliz, e deixemos assim as coisas. Espero acordar amanhã e sentir-me diferente. E é isto.

Sometimes you need a breakdown. One of those yell at everyone, cry until you fall & can`t breathe kind of breakdowns. Then you feel better. At least people will know you`re not okay.

Estou oficialmente farta de me sentir miserável. Responsabilidade minha, do sol, da ida ao ginásio... Não sei, mas estou farta. Esta semana tem sido uma porcaria, as pessoas parece que perderam a noção de que existe uma linha ténue entre trabalho e escravatura, de que o ser humano tem limites etc etc. Vou continuar. Que remédio, não é? Vou continuar a fazer o melhor que posso, mentalizar-me que às vezes não vai ser o suficiente, manter-me focada nos meus objectivos, recordar-me de que às vezes vou ter quebras (e estar ok com isso) e, acima de tudo, manter a minha vida própria. Eu não sou só isto, a vida também não é só isto e recuso-me a deixar que seja. Portanto, let's move on, porque tristezas, definitivamente, não pagam dívidas.

"Peyton: Are you happy now? Peyton's subconscience: No, but you are."

"Robert Lewis Stevenson wrote: You cannot run away from a weakness; you must sometimes fight it out or perish. And if that be so, why not now, and where you stand?" Devia ser o título da minha semana...

"Nathan : The roots are still there. It just takes time. Don’t say I never gave you anything."

Que. Dia.

Às vezes andamos às voltas, achamos que as coisas realmente mudaram... só para nos apercebermos de que estamos de volta à estaca zero... ou nunca saímos sequer do sítio. Já não sei em qual dos casos me encontro, sinceramente. Dizem que temos que arranjar espaço na nossa vida para as coisas boas acontecerem. Que acontecem quando menos esperamos. Que temos que gostar de nós primeiro. Dizem muita coisa. Na realidade? Não sei se alguma dessas coisas é verdade. Não vejo nada. Sei que na maioria dos dias me apercebo do vazio enorme que tenho em mim. Sei que fui perdendo muita coisa, que me fui tornando mais céptica, mais desconfiada... E não gosto de ser assim. Se eu já não sei como ser eu, se me sinto tão perdida, se este vazio parece aumentar todos os dias... Como é que vai acontecer alguma coisa boa na minha vida? Claramente, não estou preparada para ela, nem sei onde estou. Mas também, se não acontecer nada, acho que não vai mudar nada. Porque por muito que tente, este vazio não está a d...

"Haley: I’m just looking through this list of predictions of dreams and wishes I made over the years. You know, I really think that maybe, back then, I was a better person Lucas: You’re the same person you’ve always been. That’s not a list of who you are, it’s a list of who you’re gonna be. That’s still up to you."

"At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world. Six billion souls. And sometimes...all you need is one."

"Brooke: George Bernard Shaw once wrote, "There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it." Clearly, Shaw had his heart broken once or twice. Nathan: As far as I'm concerned, Shaw was a punk, 'cause you know what? Tragedies happen. What are you gonna do? Give up? Quit? No. I realize now that when your heart breaks, you gotta fight like hell to make sure you're still alive. Because you are... and that pain you feel, it's life. The confusion and fear, that's there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better... and that something is worth fighting for. Lucas: Shaw was right. As we strain to grasp the things we desire, the things that we think will make our lives better---money, popularity, fame---we ignore what truly matter--the simple things-- like friendship, family, love--the things we probably already had. Peyton: Yes, losing your heart's desire is tragic... but gaining ...

"Lucas: And Hansel said to Gretel, "Let us drop these breadcrumbs so that together we find our way home, because losing our way would be the most cruel of things." This year, I lost my way. Nathan: And losing your way on the journey is unfortunate, but losing your reason for the journey is a fate more cruel. Peyton: The journey lasted eight months. Sometimes I travelled alone. Sometimes there were others who took the wheel... and took my heart. But when the destination was reached, it wasn't me who arrived... it wasn't me at all. Brooke: And once you lo...

"We can keep our feelings inside, as long as you want to. It doesn't mean they don't exist." (Hart of Dixie)

"Nathan : Don't come home, Haley. Haley : Nathan, I have to come home. Nathan : No. You don't. You have to go after your dream, just like I have to go after mine. Cause if we don't, then we're just gonna end up regretting it. And we're gonna end up resenting each other. Haley : Nathan, I wouldn't... Nathan : No, we don't know that. Nobody knows what's gonna happen. Whatever choice you make today is gonna affect the rest of your life. So, don't come home, Haley... cause I don't want you to."

She wanted something to happen - something, anything: she did not know what . - Kate Chopin

Life changes every minute of every day. You lose friends. You gain friends. You realize your friend wasn’t ever really your friend, and that person you used to hate can make a really good friend. You look for love. You find love. You lose love. You realize all long that you’ve been loved. You laugh. You cry. You laugh so hard that you cry. You do this, you do that. You really wish you hadn’t done that. You then learn from that and are glad that you did. You have your ups. You have your downs. You see good movies. You see bad movies. You wonder if your life is just one big movie. You look at others and wish you were them. You then realize who they are and are glad that you’re you. You love life. You hate life. In the end you just find yourself happy to be living life, no matter what’s thrown at you.

There is no way to be a hundred percent sure about anyone or anything. So you’re left with a choice. Either hope for the best or just expect the worst.